UNIVERSITY.. THE NEXT ROAD

UNIVERSITY

 

 

The day has come and gone for my son to flee

 

He is being educated a distance away

 

Over the bridge to Cardiff University

 

 

Its such a day when it comes

 

It was fun but went too quick

 

 

I am proud, and think I am definately aloud to be

 

So whats he doing?  I smile and tell with glee

 

A future I can see

 

I remember the sleepless nights and what sleep at times

 

I was told he was bright but was dismissed at that time

 

Hes Mine!

 

 Always proud of that big boy of mine.

 

 

The Wedding

The Wedding.

With the sun in the Sky's,
It was the same in both their eyes.
Sunny,
A catholic Wedding and songs of joy.
But down to earth,
Without any "pomp and circumstance" i have witnessed before.
And it ended with raptourous applause.

With the week of sunshine,
Continuing to shine all the way through,
After the doors were opened, pictures taken, it was spitting and we knew.
The cars were our destiny.

Romford was the wedding, Hornchuch the Buffet and free flow bar.
But even there friends, end up on taking the piss, and taking it a little too far

No speeches, no bridesmaids, just flowers and a car.
All the exspensives that I saw were ploughed into the bar.
It was lovely, just them being real in these times, as adding the other costs to a wedding,
can just blow your mind.

It was an honour to be invited, and we wish them both well,
Having lots of happy times through there life, I know they will.

Six Months Past

Six  Months Passed

Today I still feel it, just like every other day
Six months since you departed, but you I know, you’re here with me to stay
I cherish all those memories and the special times we had,
Death comes to us all but not the time you had. taken to soon.

Did I tell you I feel anger you left me without a word.

And to find out in the playground, was a complete shock, was the word.
The hardest time was the lingering that chance to say goodbye,
I hate to say it too you she will never be a friend of mine.

One moment it was time and then it wasn’t to be the frustration of us all was never experienced so deeply. But I got that Rose to accompany you on your journey and trailed it to the sky.  Which for me was that special and more meaningful goodbye.

I love you more than you know, I miss you from head to toe, but I smile I will see you again so till we meet again and I will keep singing.

My cloud with you always and I will always love you.

Where did it go?

Reception Ending

Nerves and holding back my fears.

Reception class, time is ending.

My little man has developed slowly.

A little below average but he is definately not SLOW.

He learns and takes it in but just not as quick.

Thats just like Me and Daddy "we see."

The class teacher.

No place to judge.

 But has to compare, to share, how the learning, is developing.

Age 5

So proud he can now read, he is just getting it.

He read Engine and Fire Fighter just today.

I just want him to be Happy.

Yeah for the holidays and then back to school to year 1

lots of room for growth, in the time off away from school.

Life on the Inside

I'm confused as i'm not sure what sex i will be. I am a 46 day old embryo and three quarters of an inch long. Fourteen days later I have grown to an inch and a half.
It is the third month  of my exsistance and I am twice the size, that i was. I can move for the first time and I'm a good kicker. I am now longer an embryo I am a foetus.

"Whats that not more chocolate"

Mother has fed me lots of chocolate today and I am sick of it, as I have had nothing but chocolate for the last two weeks.

I can hear murmers, and it echos all around me. Shannon, Carley, Lisa, emma. No No you can't call, the sound is muffled.Chelsea for a girl. That was a different voice, I havn't heard that one before. It hurt me ears, Kick,kic, kick,kick.

"Derick Derick come quick," Jane shouted.
"What Dear"
"Come quick the babys kicked," she shouted again.
"Oh has it,"
He puts his hard on top of my head , the voice frightens me so I stop kicking....

A week later... " Lucy, Chelsea, Richard, Robert" Shouts Derick.
" Yes Robert, Robert Ashbee,Richard Ashbee, I think i prefer Richard. "What do you prefer Derick?"
"How about we toss, cause I don't know"
"No we won't," Jane replied angrily.

I can distinguish between the voices that I 've heard now. Mummy generally speaks softly and Daddy  speaks in a louder tone. His voice doesn't frighten me anymore. I am five months old and have more than trebbled in weight. Something strange has happened in the last few days. I have just found out that i'm not alone, but I cannot see as my eyes stay permanantly closed. I found out by accident a couple of days ago, when I was poked and prodded, and well, all I can say is that I'm not happy with the idea of sharing my environment. I thank God, that I am not sharing the same cord.
On and positive note, at least I won't have to eat all that chocolate.
I take a while to accept the situation. I am the center of the universe and only I matter, I don't know the concept of feelings. I am egocentric. I puch and kick the other foetus to let them know i am there.
My environment is enriched with acoustic stimulation. I hear sounds of my mother eatting, drinking, breathing. There are cardio vascular noices along with gastrointestinal activity. The most frequent sounds I hear are that of the wombs, pulsating main arterry along with mummy's calm voice.
All the food I eat is liquified, my food is mixed up in amnoitic fluid. I heard extremely loud voices the other night and it not only made me wierd, it made me excrete alot of urea. I must have excreted several times in the last two hours. The brown bubbly mixture made the other foetus sleep and sleep which was fantastic, as I feltmore comfortable, having more space to maneuvre. You may think I am a horrible foetus, but I'm not really. I was worried about my foetus friend when it didn't wake up for a long time after the consumption of that brown bubbly liquid.
I am a boy and my foetus friend is a girl. To explain to you why I am so certain about this knowledge. We have only 2 months left now before we leave our environment, our ears are very close too the surface and sounds are very clear. We hear alot of television and I like football like the deep voice does and my foetus girl friend enjoys listoning to neighbours. Off caurse i switch off and sleep whislt she listens and she sleeps while I listen to the football.
I am aware of the anxiety of my mummy as everyday is a day closer to our due date. Though i am not sure about me staying here for much longer as I feel that I have no room to move or breath.
I have heard many different voices "bethave" but this word I do not understand the meaning of. The voices have said bet its two boys or I bet its two girls. Some talked about pounds, ten pounds or twenty pounds and this frustrates me as I would like to know what they mean.
I am getting out if here. Head down engaged ...

Water breaks .... I feel wierd but I need to head for the light. How on earth am I going to get out. Push Push I hear them shout and breath. What a good idea that makes my birth alot easier. 28 minutes later I have arrived oh my god I am screaming with the shock ... come on baby sister where are you... 22 minutes later she has joined me.

 Welcome to the world little ones.

1997 this was written.

I suffer the day in silence
My thoughts are very few
I try to forget about me
and just think about you

My head is sometimes spinning
I'm like a prisioner in my own mind.
I must try to go forward
Before i go further down the slide.

I wake up with all good intentions
To do what needs to be done
When I am well its great and with such special insight.
I am a person who knows what can be buried deep within
Affecting the everyday living of someone who can also be bold.
  I grant your pardon for all the things i have done
Will this make me well again and be round with open mind.
The gates just seem to be closed as i reach deep inside.

I feel so tired now that I made it up early today.
I will do......... that same tomorrow.

Depression

You can't live in the past
You have got to move on
Think about yourself and be happy.
Remember that you can enjoy yourself.
Accept who you are is first and foremost.
Then once you have accepted yourself others will also accept.
Don't forget that you are a kind and happy fun loving person and if you are making an effort
and they don't respond it is not anything you have done.
It is them, it is there problem, not yours.
Be interested in others and they will in return be interested in you.
You can't live in the past what if there is not tomorrow.
Live for today and look forward to tomorrow.